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An Internal Glance

"An Internal Glance" is meant to nurture healthy self-awareness. It will come out once a month. Just a few questions to reflect on, to process with a friend, to pray about...We have enough people in the world who are experts in self-obsession. Let's be the opposite.

An Internal Glance.

Growing in personal development and spiritual maturity, a glance a time...

Have you made an “Agreement”?

I was listening to a podcast I heard years ago; I needed to listen to it again. Don't you agree? We forget lessons we learned, things we heard, and those Ah-Ha moments that "changed" us at one point. It’s a human thing. Forgetfulness can be so damaging to our growth.

This guy (a counselor in Fort Collins, CO) was the first one to introduce me to the idea of “Agreements.” He got the term from one of my favorites, Dan Allender, so I trusted it. This is a topic for a much longer blog, but in summary:

The enemy of our souls sneaks into our lives and plants seeds of doubt, despair, and hopelessness by way of trauma or hardships. He exploits these experiences in our lives and uses them as an opportunity to trap us into an “agreement.” In other words, we have a thought, and we “agree” with it. Once we “agree” with it, we LIVE by it.

Here are some examples:

  1. I will always be alone.

  2. There is nothing lovable about me.

  3. My suffering will never go away.

  4. God has left me.

  5. No one is trustworthy.

  6. Men lie.

  7. I have no way out.

  8. Any woman I find will leave me.

  9. I am disgusting.

You may resonate with one of these. However, if you don’t, you can probably identify one or more agreements you have heard whisper into your thoughts. These are called “agreements” because we hear them, and accept them as truth; we "agree" with them. Over the course of many years, we believe them. These agreements inform how we live our lives, our behavior is motivated by them.

Whew! See what I mean, this needs to be a longer conversation.

I would suggest you listen to this podcast.

But I would also encourage you to take some time alone and reflect on the agreements you have made. Every one of us has made a number of agreements over the course of our lives. Some date back to childhood. We cannot be free of them without intentionally breaking them and asking God to deliver us from the bond we have made with these untruths. They are far reaching, friends.

So here you go:

1. What agreement(s) can I identify in my own life?

2. How have I seen this agreement play out in my actions?

[As a side note, if you need to talk through these agreements more, this is one of the reasons I consider what I do “Spiritual Direction.” We need each other to name them, break them, and walk in the opposite direction from them. Reach out to me for a free consultation.]

You will notice how much these agreements have resulted in your lack of peace, freedom, joy, and healthy relationships. Start simple…just name them. Then, have some honest time with God, and ask for deliverance from them. Galatians 5:1…”It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set you free!


For those of you who don't know: Here is what "An Internal Glance" is all about:

After reading through Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, I am personally convicted and convinced that spiritual and emotional maturity will not happen unless we learn to take a look at our lives. We must name the unhealthy patterns. We must identify the anger, sadness, or hurt we are holding on to so that it doesn't stay stuck inside, spilling onto those around us unintentionally.

When you see this particular post come into your inbox, I invite you to set aside a few minutes to reflect. Practice the discipline of paying attention to your precious life. Let it be a time to invite Jesus into the secret places, the mysterious places, and the stuck places. Ask the Spirit to help you see.

So, here we go...I welcome you on the road to more maturity and fullness in Jesus, I'm on it, too.

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